Paranoid
by Happy Noodle Girl
Summary: Serena's mom has paranoid schizophrenia. Serena goes through a depression. Darien is there to help her. But theres not always a happy ending to every love story.
1. Default Chapter

Hey you guys! I know I know, I'm starting another story without finished "This Isn't What I Want." But hopefully I will finish it. But this story just popped into my head one night when I heard a song by this one girl Vanessa Carlton or something or other, I thinks it's called I would walk 1000 miles or something like that. I don't remember. Well anyways here you go, read on!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of the t.V. show "Sailor Moon." There I said it...happy now?  
  
Title: Paranoid  
By: Happy Noodle Girl  
Part: Chapter 1  
Rated: R (for later sexual content)  
E-mail: HappyNoodleGrl@aol.com  
  
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-Serena's POV-  
  
"Mom...What? No. What are you talking about?" I stammered out, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. I stared at her wide eyed, not believing.  
  
"Don't let them get you Serena. Don't let them do "back" to you." She warned, holding me by the shoulders.  
There was no more twinkle in her eyes, no more laughter. They were dull, she was not my mother any longer, she was just a vessil, an empty shell that used to contain my mother.  
I shook my head, trying to rid myself of this horrible dream, but this was no dream. This was reality, my mother was sick, and I could do nothing to help her. Only she could help herself, and she refused to do so.  
  
"Stop talking like that Mom. I don't understand." I choked out, my breath ragged from my crying. I had no doubt that my eyes were red and my usually light skin was beat red, I felt afire. Afire with anger, with grief, with an ultimate saddness that I had never felt before.  
  
"They're after me Sere. They're going to kill me...they're going to kill you! Run Sere! Get away! Don't let them find you!" She started to yell at me, shaking me by my shoulders with such force I could feel the bruises starting to develope beneath her iron grip.  
  
"Mom...Mommy...you're hurting me. Please...stop." I gasped out.  
She stoped shaking me but still held her grip.  
  
"Mom, you're sick...you need help. Get help!" I nearly screamed at her. It had never gotten this bad before. I was never afraid of her, but as of right then, I had never been more afraid in my life, for her, for myself, for our future...together. Would she be there? At my graduation? At my wedding? At my children's birth? Or would she be a recluse, too scared to leave her own confines to see her only daughter live the happiest moments in her life? The thought made me sick, but I could do nothing. Nothing.  
  
I had finally had enough. I couldn't stand her grip any longer. I roughly pushed her fingers, which had started to dig into my skin, off. She looked at me, a mixure of confusion and hurt I saw in her eyes. I backed away from her slowly, I had no idea how much raw emotion my eyes held at that moment. I was angry, scared, and most of all...disbelieveing.  
I couldn't look her in the eye. I was suddenly transfixed by our blue/grey carpet.  
  
"Please...leave." I told her, my voice comming out in a deadly whisper.  
  
I did not see her tears, nor did I see the way she looked at me when she walked out the door. The utter hurt and lonliness she had felt.  
The moment I heard the door close with a soft, depressing click, I crumpled to floor. I griped my skirt until I thought my hands would bleed. Tears rolled down my cheeks one after another while violent sobs wracked my body. My hands found my long blonde hair which resembled my mother's so much. I scratched and clawed at it, pulling until my frustration was only half satisfied. I looked up, my eyes rimmed with red. I stared at the pictures on the mantel. Unable to believe that life was once that happy and blissful. The pictures displayed my mother, Ilene, my father, Ken, and myself...Serena. We were once a happy family. We went on picnics, to the Zoo, to Disneyland. We were normal. Until that fateful day at the doctors.  
  
~FLASHBACK~  
  
We were all going in to get a physical, my mother, my father and I always had one atleast once a year. We tried to schedule them at the same time so we didn't have to make several trips back and forth. We had all been taken to our respective doctors and the examination began. It took a couple days, but finally the results were in.   
I was perfectly healthy, my father was too, save his high cholesteral, which could be easily managed. My mother was an entirely different story though. Her examination had found she had paranoid schizophrenia. The dictionary definition is: A form of schizophrenia that is characterized by a preoccupation of bizarre delusion(s) of being persecuted or harassed. Auditory halluncinations that are related to the delusions' theme. (www.psyweb.com).  
This means that my mother felt she was being followed, harassed by anyone and everyone. She thought everone was out to hurt her, to kill her...she even accused her own family of it at times.  
We had noticed that she had been acting different for some time but thought nothing of it. My father passed it off as "the changes of life," or better known as menopause. Me...I was just ignorant. I never believed that anything bad could happen to my mom, not in a billion years. Well, I was wrong, something did happen to my mom. Something very bad.  
She refused to take medicine that would cure her. She said nothing was wrong with her. That we were just out to kill her.   
  
"You just want me drugged up on pills so you can get rid of me!" She screamed at my father and I with venom dripping from her voice.  
Emediatly, I knew this was not my mother. My mother would never say such things. She loved us with all her heart. This was NOT my mother. I refused to blieve it was.   
She had then fled from the living room to her's and my father's room where she slammed the door and locked it. My father greatly regretted putting a lock on their door after that incident. My mom didn't come out of their room for two days. We left food by the door, but none was touched. She finally did come out of the bedroom. My father and I hardly recognized her. She looked hallow. She had only been in the room for two days, but the wear was evident. Her eyes had sunken in considerably, her skin hung lifelessly from her bones. She looked dead, and in a way she was. To the both of us, and to herself.  
  
After that, her mental stability took a spiraling jump down. She was always on edge. It was almost like looking at a caged rabbit about to be eatin by some preditor. Every night I would lay in my bed and silently cry. I cried until it was almost physically unable for me to cry any longer. I didn't leave home for weeks. My friends were worried, they called an endless amount of times, even that arrogant jerk, Darien, called me. No doubt to make fun of me and ridicule me on my faults as a human being.   
  
After my mother confronted me in the living room that day and walked out, we didn't see her for awhile.   
  
It's been four months and she still hasn't come home. We notified the cops and they were searching, I'm sure they were trying their best but my mind knew better.  
'They don't care about one crazy woman! They have better things to worry about. Like finding kidnapped children!' My mind screamed at me.  
  
  
One afternoon when I was sitting in my living room on the couch watching television, my father walked in and sat down next to me.  
  
"You know, it would do you some good to get out, go have some fun with your friends, they're really worried about you sweatheart. I'm really worried about you." My father said as tears brimmed his eyes.  
I looked over to him and gave him a reasurring smile that both him and I knew was fake. I returned my gaze back to the television, not really seeing the pictures it displayed. My father suddenly wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. He gently kissed my forehead.  
  
"Please sweetheart. Go to the arcade. Be with your friends. You don't need to be here. Go, forget about your troubles for a couple hours." He tried to coax me.  
I finally gave in, knowing it would comfort him to know that I was acting like my happy-go-lucky self again.  
I changed into some jeans and a black t-shirt and walked to the arcade where I was sure my friends were. I started my walk down the streets, a sullen expression on my face. I bumped shoulders with many people, many people yelled at me, but I did not care. I stared at the ground the whole way there. I didn't dare lift my head to see the accusing glares of the people. I feared they would tell me: 'You made your mom like this! Drove her to her last sane nerve!'  
'It's all your fault!'  
  
I walked faster, trying to get away from the voices.  
I finally reached the arcade. The doors slid open and then everything was as if it were happening in slow motion. I walked in, the bells jingled signalling a customer. I saw Andrew at the counter, he slowly brought his head up to look at me. I could see his eyes visibly widen. I looked to my right and saw Ray, Amy, Mina, and Lita. The friends that had been calling non-stop since I backed away from them, into my hole of dispair. They stared at me, shocked. Did I look that awful? I quickly ran into the bathroom. I couldn't stand their piercing eyes boring into me. I never noticed one more pair of dark blue, concerned eyes locked on me.  
  
I stood infront of the mirror, holding on to the sink so I would not collapse. I stared into the mirror. The person I saw in that mirror, was not me. It couldn't be me. My eyes used to be a bright shiny blue, now they were dull and lacking any life what-so-ever.  
  
"Serena?" It was Mina. She walked into the bathroom and stood there. Just watching.  
I hung my head over the sink.  
"Have I changed so much?" I asked silently. I didn't think Mina heard me.  
"Kind of. What's wrong? What could possibly cause you this much pain?" She asked comming over to me and putting a comforting hand on my shoulder.  
That's when I broke. The facade that I had put up for my friends fell like a sand bag thrown into the murky depths.  
I turned and engulfed Mina in a fierce hug and sobbed into her shoulder. I knew she must be very confused, but no matter, she still held me. For how long, I do not know. My tears slowly subsided and she pulled me back from our embrace to look me in the face. She was worried beyond belief, I could tell.  
  
"Please Sere. Tell me what's wrong." She begged.  
I needed to tell someone. If I didn't tell someone I felt as if I was going to burst.  
  
"My mother...she...she has...paranoid schizophrenia." I stammered out, fresh tears making their way down my cheeks.  
I explained to her the past few months' occurences. She gasped and held me once again.  
"Everything will turn out right, you'll see Sere, you'll see. Everything will be fine." She kept repeating over and over again into my ear. It didn't do much to comfort me. I know she cares, and she wants to help, but she can't override my fears that I have for my mother, out there, all by herself.  
  
Mina dried my tears and brought out her make-up to conceal the dark bags under my eyes, and blush to give me some color. When Mina was done I looked in the mirror again, I looked a little more alive, except for my eyes. My eyes gave it away. They were just so dull and lifeless.  
We both walked out of the bathroom together. I leaned over and whispered into Mina's ear,  
  
"Please don't tell anyone. I don't think I can handle anyone else knowing."  
Mina just nodded her understanding. I really did love her.  
  
Mina led me over to Ray, Amy, and Lita who were siting in a booth. I quietly sat down among my friends. Andrew came over and asked if we wanted anything.  
  
"A double chocolate fudge sunday for you Serena?" He asked. I always ordered the same thing when I came into the arcade. It was a natural everyday occurence.  
  
"No thanks Andrew. I'm not really hungry." I said as I fiddled with my fingers that lay in my lap.  
You could tell Andrew was shocked.   
  
'Serena, not hungry!?! Is that even possible!?!' He thought astounded.  
"What about the rest of you girls?" He asked the remaining four girls.  
"We'll just have five waters Andrew please." Amy answered for the girls. Also ordering for Serena.  
  
"Meatball Head not eating? Wow, is the world ending??" Came a sarcastic deep voice from the booth behind the girls.  
They all turned around to see Darien with a smug smile on his face. As soon as he saw the empty, hopeless look in Serena's eyes, he lost his smile and his smugness.  
  
"Darien, fuck off." Mina said deathly.  
Darien didn't even hear her words he was so engrossed in the expression Serena had on her face. She looked as if she had given up on life all together. Serena then silently turned around and continued to fidget in her seat. Darien then turned around in his seat aswell with a confused expression on his face.  
'What happened to Serena? She looks so...so...dead.' Darien thought perplexed.  
  
"Guys," Serena started. "I think I'm going to go for a walk. I'll talk you guys later." I then got up and walked out of the arcade towards the park.  
  
I went straight to the willow tree in the center of the park. Its branches hung so low a person could hide behind its leaves. I crawled beneath the tree and held my knees tightly to my chest. And cried. I had thought I had no more tears left in me, but I was wrong. They just kept comming, a never ending river. Suddenly I heard a rustle in the leaves infront of me. I jerked my tear stained face up to see Darien pushing through the leaves.  
  
"Darien." I gasped out surprised. I had forgotten all about my tears.  
Darien looked at me. Was that...concern in his eyes?  
  
He walked over and sat down next to me in the soft grass.  
  
"Serena?" He asked using my given name for once.  
I didn't say anything, hoping he would go away if I didn't say anything. He continued talking anyways.  
"What's wrong? This isn't you. Please answer me." He gently took my chin in his hands and made me look him in the eye. Tears began to form in my eyes again.  
'No. I can't break down again.' I told myself firmly.  
  
"No." I said simply. It was so quiet that he barely heard it.  
"Please Serena..." He asked pleadingly. I started to get angry.  
"You think being nice to me for 10 seconds constitutes you as a trusted friend!?! It doesn't Darien! You have ridiculed me and tormented me about various things for as long as I have known you. Don't think I'm going to change my whole perspective of you in a 10 second time period when a whole three years of indifference is between us. There's no chance in hell. You have to earn my trust Darien." I had never spoken like that before. I was just all of a sudden so angry, with him, with the world mostly.  
  
"You're right." He said as he hung his head.  
"Why don't you come to my apartment and I'll cook you dinner and we can get to know eachother. I know we've never been friends, but I'd like that to change, if you want it to change. Please?" He asked while his thumbs moved in quick circles around eachother. I smiled for a split second, he reminded me of a nervous, small boy. He suddenly looked at me and I instantly knew he was sincere. I found myself complying to his invitation. He smiled at me and stood up. He held his hand out for me to take so I could get up off the grass. I took it gratefully. Just him holding out his hand like that sent waves of renewed hope through me. Maybe things were really going to turn out alright. Maybe everything was really going to be fine.  
  
END CHAPTER 1  
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This story was taken from a point in my life, it has been exaggerated a bit in places but the overal plot is true. Paranoid schizophrenia is no fun, it's absolutly horrifying if you have to watch a loved one go through it. The only way a person can get help is if they want to get help. Don't shut them out...let them know you're there for them. Constantly tell them you love them. Let them know they need help. That's all you can do. Good luck.  
  
That was the end of chapter one. Hopefully there will be another chapter out soon. Tell me what you think of my story so far? Please? Pretty please? I need feedback people! :) later!  
  
-Happy Noodle Girl 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey you guys! Woooo chapter 2! What? No woo? Fine, no woo. Poo on you. Anyways...here it is, the long awaited, or not...chapter two! And...uhhh...I'm gunna shut up now so you can read.  
  
Title: Paranoid  
By: Happy Noodle Girl  
Rating: R  
Date: April 2, 2002  
  
Disclaimer: No own...no sue...pease? I'm only 13...not really but close enough. heh heh.  
  
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~*~SERENA'S POV~*~  
  
I walked slowly home, Darien at my side. We walked closly together, just learning to be comfortable in each other's presence. We reached my front door moments later. I opened the door and ushered him in. I almost expected my mother to be standing there with her long, waist length, purple hair and cooking apron on and smiling as we walked in the door. But she wasn't there, and there was a visible frown of disppointment on my face. Darien noticed this.  
  
"Serena? What's wrong?"   
I looked up at him and gave a sad smile.  
"Nothing. I just expected to see my mother standing there when we opened the door, cooking dinner in her apron. But she's not." I said with a finality.  
Darien squeezed my hand reasuringly, like a friend would do. I looked up to him and this time gave him a smile that said thank you. We walked into the living room where my father was watching television.  
"Hey Dad. This is Darien." I announced being careful not to use the word "friend."  
Dad turned around and smiled at me. He turned his happy gaze to see Darien standing there. Ken visibly frowned and both Darien and I caught it. I layed a gentle hand on my Dad's arm, which was draped along the back of the couch. Dad switched his gaze to me. I looked pleadingly into his eyes.  
"It's ok Dad. Trust me."  
And he did. He trusted her probably more than he should a 17 year old teenager.  
  
I continued once I saw the acceptance in my father's eyes.  
"Is it ok if I go to Darien's for dinner? We've never really gotten along that well and I think we just need to get to know each other." I explained, my hand still laying on my father's reasuringly.  
Dad looked over to the television for a brief second before looking back to me and my escort. He sighed heavily.  
"Alright. Just be back by midnight at the lastest ok? And youg man, how old are you?" My father asked, paternal instincts comming into play.  
I heaved an irritated sigh.  
"I'm 17 Mr. Tsukino. Same as Serena." Darien explained.  
'Good job' I thought proudly. My dad gave him a suspicious look but with another aqueeze of my hand he gave in and let us go.  
I smiling joyously and hugged my father.  
"Thank you Daddy." I said before bounding out the door with Darien in tow.  
  
"Your father is a rather scary man." Darien mentioned as they walked back to the arcade where Darien's car was left.  
I giggled.  
"Yeah he is. But he loves me, and he just doesn't want anything to happen to me. I'm all he's got left." I explained walking side by side with Darien.  
  
Twenty minutes later they were in Darien's car.   
"What do you want to listen to?" He ased me quietly.  
"I don't care. Whatever you wanna listen to, it's your car." I said.  
Darien shrugged and reached to the radio and turned it on. There wasn't much on, just a song by Unwritten Law.  
On the short drive to Darien's apartment not much was said. The ride was mostly spent in silence.  
  
~*~AUTHOR'S POV~*~  
  
Darien led her up the stairs to his apartment. Room number 205. He unlocked the door and ushered her in, much like she did when they entered her home. Serena stepped in and looked around, flabberghasted at the beauty of his apartment. It was considerably large. A living room with a complete entertainment center, you could walk through the swinging door and find yourself in a lavishly decorated kitchen like the rest of the house, and then there was a hall leading from the living room. She guessed thats where the bathroom, and bedrooms were.  
  
'I wonder how many bedrooms a place this big has?' She mused.  
  
"Serena?" Darien asked waving a large hand infront of her face quickly.  
Serena jumped out of her stupor and turned around to face Darien.  
"Yeah?" She said while smiling.  
Darien looked at her funny but dismissed it. He walked into the kitchen, holding the door open for Serena as she followed. Darien quickly got out the cooking ingredients he would need for dinner. Serena sat at the bar like counter, twirling herself on the stool.  
  
"Oooo. I love these stools." She laughed out as she spun herself around.  
Darien turned around as he was washing something in the sink. He let out a laugh as he saw Serena twirl around in her stool. He had to admit that she looked like a little imp, giggling and spinning on the the stool like she didn't have a care in the world.  
  
'But she does. She has many.' He thought dejectidly.  
  
Darien smiled once again at his little imp and went back to cooking dinner.  
  
'MY little imp? When did this happen? I kinda like it. I just better not let that slip out of my mouth or she'll strangle me.' Darien thought with a laugh as he imagined Serena jumping on his back and tackling him to the hard floor.  
  
"Not a bad idea." He mused silently with a dirty grin.  
"What'd you say Darien?" Serena asked as she stopped spinning.  
Darien turned around with an innocent smile on his beautiful face.  
"Nothing." He said simply.  
Serena did not overlook that smile though. Althought, she could not quite get her vision to stop blurring from the ride she took on the spinning stool, she could still make out his handsome face. After her vision stopped blurring she shook her head as if to rid it of its last bits of confusion, and obscure vision. Darien chuckled lightly at this show. Serena gave him a pointed look.  
  
"What are you laughing at Hairy Chipmunk!" She said with mock defense in her voice.  
A smile pulled at Darien's lips. Serena did not overlook this tiny change either. She noticed he seemed almost like a curious little boy when he did that. But her smile did not fade. She huffed and put her hands on her hips.  
Darien saw her huff and put her hands on her hips and oh how he wished that it was his hands on those hips. He saw her start to crack a smile. He imitated her stance and said,  
  
"What are you laughing at...MEATBALL HEAD!" He said knowing full well what kind of reaction he would get out of her.  
She surprised him though by tumbling over with laughter. Darien was quite surprised by this. All Serena did was point and laugh. Darien couldn't quite understand the pointing part. He then looked down at his right hand which was holding a wooden stiring spoon. He realized how rediculous he must have looked waving that thing around at her and holding it to his hip, much like...much like a mother would do to her daughter or son.  
Serena realized this too and suddenly became eerily quiet.  
  
~*~SERENA'S POV~*~  
  
'Oh Mom, I miss you so much.' I thought dejectidly.  
I remember when I used to bring home bad test grades, or when I would come in late for dinner. She would always wag that wooden spoon at me. Always in that same apron.  
  
"My mom used to do that to me. With the wooden spoon I mean. She would stand there and lecture me about grades or being on time. I remember the first time she ever did that, she looked so silly. I couldn't help but laugh." Serena said with a sad laugh as she continued.  
  
"She said that if I didn't stop laughing she was gunna chase me around the house smackin' me with the the spoon. Ofcourse that made me laugh even harder. And she definatly stayed true to her word. She raced after me around the house, smackin' me on the butt. But the whole time I couldn't stop laughing, and she couldn't either. That's a great memory." I said as a tear came to my eye.  
  
Darien walked around the counter and stood infront of me. His hands on either sides of the stool. He spun me around so I faced him. He lifted his hand up and with his thumb, wiped away the tear that had just fallen.  
  
"Don't worry Sere...your mom will come back, and she'll get help and everything will be fine." When he said that, for some reason, I just couldn't help believeing it. I had truly known him for only an hour and a half, and already I trusted him completely.  
Instinctively I closed my eyes and leaned forward. I could feel his hot breath that smelled like mint on my lips. Our lips brushed ever so gently before fully embracing each other. Our kiss was short but meaningful, I will remember it always I knew. It wasn't my first kiss, definatly not, what do you take me for? Some inexperianced twit? No, definatly not. I've kissed a few, not saying I'm a tramp, but I'm seventeen for Christ's sake! I have kissed boys before, but his kiss...meant the most to me, and I will cherish it forever.  
We both pulled back. I looked into his eyes and saw large saucer like eyes. Oh no, he didn't want me to kiss him! What was I thinking! Just pushing my lips on his! Oh no...this sucks...this sucks hardcore!   
Darien then turned around muttering some broken appology and went back to dinner. I would not let one kiss ruin our new found friendship, no sir!  
  
"So Darien? Where are your parents?" I watched as his shoulders tensed.  
Well there I go again! Stickin' my friggin' foot in my friggin' mouth! Could I do nothing right today!?! I shouted not only to myself but to the almighty above.  
Damn it. I cursed silently to myself.  
  
"They died in a plane crash when I was seven." He said.I couldn't tell his expression, he wouldn't turn around, but I know it was one of pain.  
I silently slid off my stool, knowing that it was a tender moment with me kissing him 'stupid!' and the mention of his parents 'Stupid!'. But I sneaked up behind him and slipped my arms around his waist giving him a nice BIG hug. My famous bear hugs my mom and dad would refer to them as.  
Mom...  
No! No time to pity myself! I'm going to comfort Darien! I reprimanded myself.   
I could tell he was surprised by my actions but nonetheless turned around and returned the hug full force. We stood in each other's arms for while. I let him let out all his sadness on my shoulder. I knew becuase it was starting to feel a little damp. But that's ok, I don't mind, he's my friend. Right? Hehe.  
  
Slowly he pulled away, wiping at his nose.  
"Sorry. I've never done that before, then again no one has ever hugged me like that before." He explained, giving me a slightly sad smile.   
I returned his smile but brighter.  
"Whenever you need a shoulder to lean on, I'll be here! Day or night!...Ok that was really corny...but I mean it!" I said laughing nervously and pulling my hand behind my neck in embaressment.  
Darien laughed and then returned to his cooking. I couldn't exactly see what he was making in the big pot. I tried to jump up and see but had no luck, he nudged me back into my seat with a motherly,  
"Ah ah ah, it's a surprise."   
I laughed and went to sit down again.  
  
We talked while he cooked. He asked me all sorts of questions like if I had any brothers or sisters, which was one, damn little pesky Sammy who was thankfully in Michigan with his grandma. He also asked if I was still a virgin, which ofcourse I am, although, he is not.  
Finally dinner was done and ready to go after much laughter.  
  
"Close your eyes." He commanded me.  
I saluted him and close my eyes tightly. I could hear him chuckle at my childish antics. That made me smile, I was happy I was making him laugh. If only I could do the same for myslelf...  
  
I'm guessing he set the table and brought all the food to the tabel aswell. I could also tell that he dimmed the lights becuase under my eye lids I saw it go darker.  
"Ok! Open 'em!" He shouted.  
I opened my eyes to see a dimly litted kitchen. I looked to the middle of the room to see a table with a red table cloth, not covering the whole table but gliding down the middle of it as if some one of royal blood would walk upon it. Two candles sat at either end of the table. China was set for two as well as wine glasses and napkins. Darien had also managed to put the food on the plate which looked very glamourous.   
My eyes widened in shock.  
"Wow." Was all I could manage to slip from my lips.  
Darien smiled at the amazed look I had on my face. I walked to the table and emediatly he pulled out my chair for me, gesturing for me to sit.  
"M'lady?"  
I smiled graciously.  
"Why thank you good sir." I replied as I curtsied slightly and sat down.  
"Some dinner music?" He asked softly.  
  
He could put me to sleep with that voice, or seduce me to make love to him, either way I'd be happy. I grined mischivously, although, he did not notice.  
  
"Yes please. That would be lovely." I said using a southern bell accent.  
He chuckled, a deep, rich chuckle that made me melt into a puddle of goo at his feet.  
  
Darien swept into the living room and turned on the stereo to an easy listening CD.  
(AN: I hate easy listening but Anti-flag wouldn't really match the atmosphere would it? Hehe)  
He walked gracefully with his head held high back into the kitchen and took his seat directly across from mine. I smiled at him as I listened to the enchanting melody of the music. At that moment I noticed what Darien chose to have for dinner.  
  
"Spagetti and MEATBALLS!! DARIEN!!!" I Screamed as I got up and started running after him.  
Darien laughed and "eeped" like a little girl and took off.  
  
"Darien come back here!! Oooo when I get my hands on you...!!!" I yelled as O chased him around his apartment.   
At one point he ducked into a room and I didn't see which one he had gone into.  
"Darien?" I asked like I was a killer in a horror movie.  
"Come out come out wherever you are." I drawled out my last word to improve the creepy effect.  
I was looking from left to right but saw no Darien.  
  
"AHHHH!!!" I screamed as I felt strong arms grab me from the right side and run me into the next room while I hung over his shoulder.  
"Darien! Put me down! Right now!" I yelled as I beat his back with my fists. I could tell it did nothing to disuade him seeing as how he wasn't putting me down.  
Suddenly I felt myself falling, both me and my captur. We landed in a tangled mess on the largest bed I have ever seen! It was like king sized times two!  
Once I stopped laughing and squirming I found he lay directly atop me. I looked into his eyes, his deep blue oceans of emotions that I had never paid full attention to. He stared down into my eyes. We were frozen there, for a moment in time we were frozen in place.  
I saw him slowly moving down towards my lips with his. His hot and ragged breath, still smelling of mint, blew through my senses and intoxicated me. My lips parted slightly in anticipation. I could have sworn his lips tasted almost of chocolate. Hmmm, what a lovely combination, mint chocolate. Yummy. I thought as he ran his tongue along my lips. Begging for me to open them up to him. I gladly parted my lips and let him explore the contours of my mouth as I repayed the favor in kind to him.  
I could feel his hands roamming up my, knee-high length skirt clad legs. He pushed my skirt up so he could grab my upper thigh. He hoisted me up and brought me farther back into the bed, I laughed playfully into his lips as he did. Now laying fully on the pillows as he continued to kiss me, I could feel his hand move from my upper thigh to my abdomen, then to my ribcage and finally to my breast. I groaned under his touch as he lightly massaged me. I then felt him leave my breast and I could then feel my shirt being liften over my head. I gladly lifted my arms up for him to better get that damn piece of unwanted clothing off. He laid gentle butterfly kisses from right below the cups of my bra to my lower abdomen. I moaned in pleasure as a shiver ripped through my body, but the good kind of shiver if you know what I mean. Hehe.  
  
"RING RING!!"  
  
"Fucking shit...can I never catch a break?" I almost all but shout as I hear the phone right.  
Darien chuckled as rose back up to my lips and kissed them softly before going into the living room to answer the still ringing phone.  
  
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck." I curse under my breath as I pull my shirt back on, the mood officially ruined.  
  
I walk back into the living room, fully preparing to bitch slap whoever called and ruined a perfectly good make-out session. I walk in and hear Darien talking on the phone. I put my arms around his waist. He lays his hand gently on my mine where they lay at his abdomen.  
  
"Andrew...I'm gunna kill you man." Darien said into the phone with a sinister notion to his voice. I couldn't hear what Andrew was saying, but I'm sure it was along the lines of: What did I do?!? I giggled slightly at the thought of Andrew freaking out.  
  
"No Andrew you can not come over right now to study. I'm kinda busy." He said. I knew there was a hidden meaning in that sentence because emediatly after I heard a muffled "OOOO! Ok later dude!" come from the other line.  
I gave Darien a suspicious look but he didn't catch it. I suddenly remembered the food.  
"Food!!" I shouted as I raced back into the kitchen.  
Luckily the spagetti and meatballs were still warm. I sat down and waited for Darien to enter the room. It was sooo tempting to start without him, but I knew I couldn't be rude, he made it after all, I have to wait.   
Not a second later Darien walked into the kitchen with a big smile on his face.  
"That was adorable meatball head." He said using the nickname he gave me oh so long ago, but this time adding an endearing tone to it.  
I smiled lovingly over at him as he sat down again and stuck my tongue out at him.  
(AN: No not that childish, idiotic tongue thing she does in the Anime but the cute, "i want you" tongue thing. Got the picture?)  
  
"You know that just makes me wanna run over there and take you back to my bedroom?" He chuckled out.  
I giggled.  
"Maybe that isn't such a bad idea." I said seductively as I twirled my spaggetti on my fork.  
Darien just raised his eyebrow and said,  
"Maybe."  
I smiled into my food as I ate.  
  
When we were half way into our meal I got an epifany!  
"Hey Darien." I said from across the table.  
"Hmm?" He answered back.  
"You like sea food?" I asked trying to hold back my laugh.  
He obviously knew what I was doing, but played along anyways, trying to hold back his laughter aswell.  
"Yeah I do, why?" He replied.  
"See food!" I said as I opened my mouth and let him see a chunk of half chewed spagetti and meatballs.   
I heard him erupt with laughter and I closed my mouth, swallowed my food and started laughing along with him.  
  
Not much longer after the sea food incident we finished dinner.  
  
"Well, it's only nine. What do you wanna do now?" He asked, hinting as to what HE wanted to do.  
I looked up at him, raising my eyebrow questionably as he turned me to face him, his hands on my hips.  
  
~*~AUTHOR'S POV~*~  
  
Darien layed his hands on her hips and then gently leaned down and kissed her neck, right below her ear so it sent shivvers throughout her body.  
  
'I've been wanting to lay my hands here all night.' He thought to himself hazzily as he rubbed his hands up and down Serena's hips.  
He then suddenly picked her up, she threw her legs around his waist and locked them behind him. She entertwined her hands behind his neck, playing with his thick black hair with her loose fingers. She smiled at him and he returned the smile with love and lust mixed in his eyes, matching her own. He kissed her sweetly as he walked into his bedroom with Serena still wrapped around him.  
  
"Let's finish what we start huh?" He said to her as he stopped by the phone.  
"WhithOUT any interruptions." He said as his foot pulled the plug of the phone out.  
Serena giggled and wrapped her arms tighter around Darien. He smiled teasingly at her and walked the rest of the way into the bedroom.  
  
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THE END!!  
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Hah! Scared ya huh? No? Well poopy on you! Hehe. Tell me what ya thought of it, of my very first saucy woo woo scene. Heh heh. I would really like your input on this...really. I know, not very depressing, but it can't be depressing all the time can it??? Exactly. Well don't forget to review! Love ya!! Bye!  
  
-Happy Noodle Girl 


	3. Chapter 3

Warning: This chapter contains explicit content which may disturb some readers. If you are easily frightened by blood or suicide, I strongly suggest you do not read, becuase farther into the chapter it gets pretty damn explicit!  
  
Title: Paranoid  
By: Happy Noodle Girl  
Rating: R  
Part: 3  
E-mail: HappyNoodleGrl@aol.com  
  
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~*~AUTHOR'S POV~*~  
  
"Serena. I think we need to talk." Ken, Serena's father said as Serena walked into the two story house.  
It was midnight right on the dot, not a minute later, and Serena wore a large, happy grin as she closed the door.  
"I'm right on time Dad. See? Not a minute late." She explained pointing at the clock, still smiling.  
Serena finally looked into her father's eyes, and saw the worry, the hurt, and the anguish in their depths. Serena grew worried herself.  
  
'Why would he be worried? I don't understand? I'm on time.' She thought tryng to rationalize the look in her father's eyes that sent chills up her spine.  
  
"What is it Dad?" She said, her tone becomming more serious and concerned.  
"Come sit on the couch with me. I have some news." He replied walking over to the couch and sitting down.  
"Is it about Mom?" She asked tears comming to her eyes as she pictured her mother lying in some ditch...dead.  
"Not really sweetheart. But it is about you." He said his eyes downcast.  
  
Serena hurridly walked over to the couch and sat next to her father. He laid his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in closer to him. She layed her head on his chest as his chin came to rest on the top of her head. It reminded her of a time when everything was perfect and she was still daddy and mommy's little girl. But no longer did that feeling remain, this just caused more nervous and unsure feelings to awaken in Serena. Suddenly her father began to speak in a hushed voice.  
  
"The family doctor, Dr. Kinmoku, called. He said after reviewing your mother's file that he thinks he should talk with you. Now I'm not going to baby you. You're seventeen and deserve to know what's going on, I'm not going to keep you in the dark. The Doctor said that..." His voice started to choke up with tears as he continued.  
  
"that you might have paranoid schizophrenia like your mother. It's hereditary he says, but there is a chance you don't have it. But another, frankly, scary thought is...is that if you don't have it now, there is a chance that you can develope it in the future, seeing as how your mother didn't show signs until only a couple years ago." He finished his eyes staring at his daughter's golden locks.   
He couldn't see her eyes, but was sure they were wide with horror and shock. And right he was.  
Serena's eyes grew wide as tears started to form in her baby blue eyes.  
  
'No.' She thought. She wouldn't except this. She was not going to get sick like her mother. And if she was then she would get help, she would not put her family through the pain that her mother unknowingly put them through.  
Serena turned in her father's arms to look up at him. She cleared her eyes of any tears before hand.  
  
"Ok. When do I go?" She asked, referring to her visit with Dr. Kinmoku.  
"Tomorrow evening at six." He replied.  
Serena nodded her head curtly. She didn't want her father to worry about her, she would not cry until she was alone in her room and her father was asleep.  
"I think I'm going to go to sleep now Dad. G'night." She said as she faked a yawn and kissed her father on the cheek before bounding up the stairs to get ready for bed.  
When she was sure she was out of her father's vision, she let her steps fall to a mere drawl, as if she was using all her energy to keep herself from collapsing on the floor.  
She went to her room and dressed into her pajamas. A few minutes later she heard her fathers door shut. She turned on her radio, just loud enough to muffle her sobs if her father were to awake. She sat there on her bed, infront of her window and looked out to the moon. She always felt a strange calm when she looked to the moon. Like it was watching over her. Silent tears began to slip from her eyes. She clutched her knees to her chest and burried her face in her arms and cried her heart out to Pink's "Don't let me get me" that played on the radio. She listened to the lyrics and felt a strange likeness between her feelings and the lyrics.  
  
  
"Everyday I fight a war against the mirror.  
I Can't take the person stairin' back at me.  
I'm a hazard to myself!  
Don't let me get me!  
I'm my own worst enemy.  
It's bad when you annoy yourself.  
So irritating,  
don't wanna be my friend no more.  
I wanna be somebody else.  
I wanna be somebody else."  
  
She couldn't help but relate to the lyrics that were sung in the song. How much of that she felt true about herself. Everyday she would look into the mirror and critisize herself on the way she looked, her weight, how she held herself, how she acted. She was so ugly to herself, inside and out. She couldn't help but be annoyed with herself.  
This only caused her to cry harder into her arms.  
"Sere?" Serena jumped when she heard her name being called.  
She looked to her open window to see Darien there, standing on the tree branch that was right below her window. She looked wide eyed at Darien. Completely forgetting she had tear tracks running all over her face.  
A concerned look washed over Darien's face when he saw her tears. He jumped inside her window and held her tear streaked face in his.  
"Baby," He said with such care that it almost made her want to kiss him right there.  
"what's wrong?" He asked while caressing the sides of her cheeks with either of his thumbs. She layed into the touch, reveling in the safety and love she felt when she was with him.  
"Nothing. Now that you're here." She said as she layed against his chest.  
He held her for a few moments before pulling her back to look at her and her tears.  
"Serena. Really, what's wrong? I can see your tears, a person doesn't cry for nothing." He explained.  
"Darien? Why are you here?" She said trying to change the subject. It worked, for a time.  
"I couldn't get you out of my mind, I had to come and see you." He said pulling her closer but still looking at her.  
Serena smiled up at him. She sat there with her legs folded back underneath her as did Darien right infront of her, and pushed herself up to kiss him. She slowly moved her tongue along the edges of his lips, begging him to let her in. He was about to open his mouth, wanting desperatly to explore her's when he suddenly remembered that he had seen her crying. He gently pushed her away, ubruptly ending the kiss. Serena stared at him with hurt in her eyes.  
Darien couldn't bare the look she gave him. He gently kissed her forhead and asked again,  
"Serena, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything." He reassured her.  
Serena looked down at her lap sadly.  
"I'm going to see the family doctor tomorrow. Althought I think they might send me to a psychiatrist instead. They think I might be sick." She explained, tears comming to her eyes once more.  
Darien tilted her chin up so he looked her straight in the eye.  
"What do you mean "sick"?" He asked her, not fully undestanding her meaning.  
"They think I might have paranoid schizophrenia, like my mother." She exlained once again.  
Darien emediatly pulled her to him in a warm embrace. He held her tight as she sobbed into his shirt. Darien just sat there and stroked her hair comfortingly until she stopped crying. Finally when Serena stopped crying Darien pulled her back to look at her once again, compassion and love etched into his features.  
  
"It'll be ok. If you do have it they will get you on medication and everything will be fine. I promise." Once again Serena couldn't help but believe his words. He spoke them as if he knew that they were the truth, when the future was so uncertain to her.  
Serena soaked up her tears and smiled at Darien.  
"You better go. If my dad comes in here he'll throw you out that window." Serena said while giggling.  
Darien on the other hand panicked as he imagined Serena's father busting down the door with a shot gun in hand, ready to kill him. Serena giggled more at the site of Darien turning deathly pale, and his eyes going impossibly large.  
  
"Yeah I think I'll go." He said as he started for the window, his only escape.  
  
"Wait!" Serena whispered urgently.  
Darien stopped as he was climbing down the window and looked back up to her. Serena quickly crawled over to the window, leaned out and gave Darien a kiss. It was short and sweet, just like Romeo and Juliet. Darien smiled at her and continued his climb down the huge oak tree.  
Serena watched him until he had rounded the corner with the words "I love you" playing on his lips. Serena giggled and mouthed the words back to him.  
  
Serena layed back on her bed dreamily and sighed.  
  
'He's absolutly perfect.' Were her last thoughts as she drifted off into a sleep plagued with nightmares.  
  
~*~Dream~*~  
  
You could see Serena running through her neighborhood, as if looking for something, or someone.  
  
"Mom!" She cried, running in her nightgown through the dark and empty streets.  
  
Lonely street lamps dimly lit her path as she ran frantically. Soon she came to a house, she was no longer on her street, and the place did not look familiar. Serena slowly opened the door, upon hearing it creek she jumped a little. She calmed herself, thinking it was just her jumpy nerves. She walked into the house, and upon entering she heard the door slam behind her.  
Serena whipped around and tried to open the door. But it was locked, no amount of strength could open it. She was trapped. She turned around hesitantly and started towards the stairs that were infront of his. She was walking up the stairs when she heard a faint whisper of a female's voice come from somewhere.  
  
"Serena...Sere. Come to me." The whispy voice pleaded.  
  
Serena walked up the stairs faster now, not sure where she was going. But she had a strange feeling of fear, of heartbreak.  
Once she reached the top of the staircase she looked to her left. A brown, ragged door which looked to be about a mile down the hall suddenly began racing at her at an incredible speed before stopping mere inches from her feet. She looked at the door questionably before gripping the knob. As soon as she touched the door knob, the door swung open to reveal a woman, naked. She was lying in a bathtub full of blood red water. Serena's eyes focused on the woman's wrists which were slit deeply, blood slowly trickling down the woman's arm. She looked to the woman's face, recognizing it as her mother's. She stood there frozen in fear and shock as tears gathered in her eyes. She looked to the ground, feeling as if she were going to be sick.  
  
"Serena." Came a raspy voice.  
Serena's head snapped up to look at her mother lying naked surrounded by her own blood, and her eyes which used to be a mossy green, were now devoid of any color, just white. She stared at her mother in horror as her pale lips began to move. They curved into a gruesome smile.  
  
"Come daughter. Join me. If not now, soon." She said as a giggle came to her lips and she once again closed her eyes and sunk into the ruby liquid around her.  
Serena looked down at her wirsts and saw the deep slashes gushing out blood. In a flash she was the one in the tub, naked, crying as the life drained form within her, excruciatingly slow.  
  
~*~End Dream~*~  
  
Serena bounded up in bed, heaving in air. Her eyes wide in horror. She looked down at her wrists, expecting to see long gashes on them, pouring out her blood. But there were no cuts, no blood, just her tears. She folded her arms over her chest and once again gathered her knees close to her and sobbed into the early morning.  
  
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Phew! How was that? Scary huh? Thank God I was writing this in the day time, otherwise I would be shitting my pants right about now. Haha. Anyways, tell me what you think, I love hearing your comments, or suggestions. Thanx, love ya!  
  
-Happy Noodle Girl  
  
P.S. Standard disclaimers apply. I do not own any of the characters from Sailor Moon and I never will. Thank you and have a nice day. :) 


End file.
